It takes a real professional to dig a financial hole this massive. Years of studying the intricacies of creative financing. More years studying the tedious art of creative accounting ( how to hide massive sums off the books and offshore and also how to bundle all those massive bad decisions as a new form of sellable asset...derivatives, wink, wink ). More years studying how best to pay off the compliant press so they will not report on all our fabulous trickery. Of course, that part is easy, they would sell their own Mothers to be able to rub elbows with all us wonderful, honest, hard working white collar criminals, I mean CEOs. There is a sucker born every minute and we know that all those greedy little bastards in the money industry will die for a nicely packaged turd with a fancy name. Better still if we can get some genius to insure those turds with the largest turd insurer on the planet, we will be home free. And I wouldn't want to miss out on those invitation only Christmas dinners at 5***** Resorts with all the Hookers, I mean trimmings, where our tiny little bonuses are doled out by a caravan of armored vehicles. Who would want to miss those ski junkets to Aspen 2 or 3 times per winter where the plans for the next seasons heist, I mean agenda, are meticulously planned? Hey, I know, lets bring those CNBC whores, I mean experts, they will sell these turds to the public on their daily shows and we won't have to sully our lilly white hands. If we are really lucky, they will do such a good job that the financially ignorant, I mean naive, public will clamor to invest their hard earned money in one of our shiny turd Mutual Funds and we can kill millions of birds with 1 stone. Then after all of that, we can invent some honestly evil scheme to "lose" all the cash that we supposedly "invested" offshore somewhere and have the Federal Reserve (my brother......hood, you know what I mean, wink, wink) reimburse us for all that money that we "lost" "somewhere", I know it is around somewhere, I mean money doesn't just disappear...wink, wink. What a world. This could be fun, the whole world will be in turmoil and they will turn to us, the experts, to help them figure this mess out and we can tell them "yes, we can do it but it will cost you billions and billions and billions of dollars" because this will be a tough job and we could make some mistakes, wink, wink. And the best part is that we can tell them that the poor people who we tricked into taking mortgages that we knew they could not afford are the reason that this whole gigantic mess started. Hell, Limbaugh and all the Republican sycophants in Congress will climb all over themselves to be able to blame the poor, useless eaters for this disaster. We might even be able to lure some ex congressional criminals back onto the scene to blame the welfare class for this world wide financial typhoon. I mean, who would ever believe that well educated pure bloods like us could ever have devised this sort of devious plan to loot the entire planet, it had to have been the uneducated, naive, unclean masses who came up with this monstrous plan. We could even, if there is a God, get this to stick to Obama instead of the "Village Idiot", he did enough damage. Why, I bet they have been planning this, in secret, since the last time we screwed them, I mean the last depression, wink, wink. Yeah, that's the ticket, it should work, we are innocent I tell you, innocent.
No comments:
Post a Comment